A Man of No Hope, Saved.

A lone man sits on a cold street corner.
The streetlight flickers above his head.
The man sits their in despair.
He feels useless.
No more dreams of love.
There's no hope.
But the end is not the end.

Then she walks by.
She pauses.
Turns back around and stops in front of him
.She reaches out her hand.
The man unburies his face from his hands.
He takes a look up at her.
He takes her hand.

A love so strong.
An unwavering feeling of emotion between the two.
A sense of security and closure is now felt by him.
There was a dark, heavy heart sitting inside of him.
But she touched his heavy heart.
And when she did, she made it light.
Staring into the eyes of an angel.
He feels saved.
A new sense of hope has now risen.
Because of that split second.
Because of care.
Compassion.
Love.
A love so fierce now stands before him.

...And it cannot be broken.

Well It's My Birthday...

Life has its disappointments. Today, I'm slightly disappointed, but it's all good.
Stupid flu....so many people are sick. Whatevs

So I just wanted to write what I'm grateful for on my birthday.
1. Being alive, breathing, being saved by Jesus Christ.
2. Friends that care about me.
3. Being given the great opportunity to do something amazing.
4. Having skills of my own to work on and improve.

There's so much in this world that I appreciate, yet sometimes take for granted. Turning 16 is a big milestone. It's a new opportunity to make something of myself, and to help others. To live life. Appreciate it. I surely am grateful for my life.

I'm A Straight Up Dreamer

STRAIGHT UP---a little quote from Emily haha.
Ok, so to the point now. I think dreams are incredible. I think they mean something, they can be different things.
1. Your typical nightmare. It happens to all of us at one point or another. I think that nightmares may reflect a specific thing that you're afraid of. Or it could be some general idea that you don't like, and your concious finds some crazy way to still convey the point. It's crazy how that happens.
2. A dream that actually happens. I guess you could call it DEIJA VU. Because it's happened to me. Definitely freaky. I have zero clue how that happens. If you wanna know, pray about it I guess haha.
3. Dreams about stuff that's already happened to you. I guess that it could be anything from something fun you did, or something you'd rather not experience again. It's weird.

Ok I'm just saying it in general, because I'm saying it alot. DREAMS ARE WEIRD. Anyways...
4. Random dreams? I think that's pretty self-explanatory. We have no idea what makes those happen. ......Maybe something you ate before you went to sleep?

5. Dreams about things you want to happen. Sometimes it takes a dream you have to make it aware to you that it's something you want. I've been having those dreams alot lately. It could be a change in the world, how things work, something that you'd pretty much love.
Some could say that that's how everybody feels. Everybody has a dream for something that they want.

I think that overall, a dream is something that's given to you to help you pass the time as you wait for something to really happen. It's a mental image, or playback, that you can think of as you anticipate what may really happen in your life.

Don't Let The Panic Bring You Down

Jon Foreman's "Love Isn't Made" has really talked to me. Well, not that I didn't know about what he was saying already. It's just a song for me to kinda go with and agree with, because I most definitely agree with what he's saying.

"Love isn't made. Love doesn't sell or pay. But we buy and sell our love away. Don't let the panic bring you down."

When it comes to relationships and love in our society today, in my eyes, it seems as if that is happening. People find themselves "making" love for others, when love needs to be created. You can't look at someone and just decide that you want to "make" love for them and then just go with that. You need to look at them, and if you love them, you'll know. It's a feeling, it's not just in your head.

You can't buy or sell your love.

And another thing that I wanted to touch on:
Yeah, of course a relationship can't be perfect. There's going to be hard times, there always will be. It may be that just one of the people is having a problem, or maybe you both are with eachother. But the majority of problems can be fixed. And I think that most younger couples, specifically middle school through college, use those minor problems as an excuse to end what they have. Now given, you shouldn't even be dating in middle school because you don't even understand what it's about then. But that's a topic for another day.
But I know what a relationship is about. And if there's a problem, you need to try and fix it.

So don't let the panic bring you down. If it's a little bit of space that you need, make sure the other person knows that's why you aren't talking to them as much. Or whatever problem it is, make sure that the other person isn't left hanging trying to figure out what it is.

Don't let the panic bring you down.

The 2 Types of "Popular"

The word "popular" is tossed around alot in high school. It can totally mess with people's heads. For some kids, all they want to do is be popular. And they let that take a hold of their life.

First type of popular:
The "I've got all this money, I have nice things, I'm big headed, etc." person
And they really bother me. Yeah, it may be because I'm not one of them, but I'm PERFECTLY OK with that. I don't want to be that person. It always seems as if that kind of "popular" person is the one that people "look up to". I think it's ridiculous. Yeah, they may have things you want, but it gets to them. Those kids are usually stereotyped as the "partiers", the kids who always seem to be having the good time. And they make you feel bad about having what you have.

Second type of popular:
The regular, well known person. People know who you are. It's not about having all of that expensive, nice stuff. It's not about partying. You make yourself well known, people like you, anything relating to that. If that's the case, you're that kind of popular.

Obviously, this is just my opinion. But the "popular" stereotype that everybody goes by these days really bothers me. It makes some kids feel bad about themselves, which isn't cool. There's making yourself well known by being a jerk and flaunting around what you have to others less fortunate, but then there's making yourself well known in the positive way.

And if you didn't catch my drift already, I'm in support of Option #2.

Life's What You Make It

Yeah, I did just write a blog about 10 minutes ago. WHO CARES. I dont.

Ok so I'm sure you've read the title of this blog. And you're probably thinking, "Hey Brad, why are you thinking about a Hannah Montana song? Wow, what a loser." Well.......I love Hannah Montana so much and I think about her all the time and she's just so...I HATE HANNAH MONTANA. So that should answer that question.

My intention in writing this blog is to talk about exactly what the title says. That's kinda why it's the title of this blog I suppose.
Life's exactly what you make of it. I see this happen all the time:
"Oh, well it's not gonna be any fun anyways"
"I'm not gonna like this"
"It's gonna be SOOOO awkward"
Pretty much anything like that. Well news for you, it doesn't have to be that way. It's only gonna be like that IF THATS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.
So really, it's only as awkward as you make it. It only sucks as much as you make it suck. If you wanna hang with someone or talk to them, don't just sit there beforehand and just say "Oh, I'm not gonna end up talking to them anyways they're not going to want to talk to me."
Hmm, well you won't know that until you try. If you go into something with a negative attitude, then that's exactly how it's gonna be. I'm saying that straight up.

If I learned anything from my parents, that's it. And it's been exemplified to me by them as well. Being negative sucks. It's so dumb. Yet I find myself falling short to being positive alot of the time as well, and it's something I'm working on within myself.

If you disagree with me, that's cool. I'm just a kid who sits at his computer and blogs periodically, I'm not your mom......or dad for that matter.
If you agree, or have anything good to say about this to me, PLEASE let me know, I'll love to hear what you have to say :)

It's About That Time Isn't It?

OK so here's the deal. IT'S 1:15 AM on the first day of february. My clock just says 1:15 right now, so I figured I'd let you guys know that.
So you know what I just realized? Ok so like I check my blog like 3 times daily to see if anybody commented on any of my blogs. I like it when people comment on them so I look hah. Anyways, this is what I realized. It's about time for a happy blog. I mean I've had blogs written while I was in a good mood, but I mean like this is a LEGIT happy blog. Or at least totally random.

So I think it was brought up to me that I should talk about rainbows in one of my blogs? Or something like that. Maybe what colors I would pick to be in the rainbow? No clue. Just a little thought I had.
So I like to write about totally random things.
Peanut butter.
Umm, hmm. I forgot how to tie my shoes about 6 summers ago. Yes, I know, I WOULD FORGET HOW TO TIE MY SHOES. It happened.

Wow, that's really all I got for this random blog. I'll get better at this.

....I'm used to writing blogs with some meaning behind them. Spontaneous...ness isn't my thing tonight. I'm tired. Yeah, thats it.

Oh another thing, I wish I had a hair straightener, believe it or not. My hair always flips out on the side and the back and IT DRIVES ME NUTS. It really makes me fruity in the loops.

....I can't believe I just said that. What was I thinking?

Up and Up

Ok so, my computer says that it's 11:52 pm right now. Im pretty tired, but I have wanted to write about this all week now and I havent. So here it goes.

On monday morning this week, my life got a little bit better. Or maybe alotta bit better (I know that doesnt make sense, just go with it). I feel like I'm on the up and up that I have been looking for. I've been searching for it. BAM. Oh look, there it is. There she is. She told me yes, and I smiled. I knew then that my life was going to start getting better.

I mean, I was really happy last week when I mended a broken friendship. I figured that was a start to something. Something good.

Yeah, midterms suck. Life can suck sometimes too. But when I'm with her, it's all good. The past is just a conduit (I think I spelled that right) for what happens everyday in my life. It's that brigde across that gap that says "Hey, you're not going down. How about you come across this here bridge and meet me in the light at the other end."

Well I found that light. I'm on the up and up.

Happy, Yet Afraid

Lately, life's been different.
Last night, it was proven to me that if I keep trying to attain something, a friendship, it can happen. I did everything I could to make it happen, and I didn't think it was enough. But I was wrong. It all worked out in the end. So I'm really thankful for that, and I'm also very happy with it.
But then that aside, I'm afraid. The past month has been a challenge for me. I have this insecurity that I want gone. But it's going to take time to heal. I don't want somebody to be completely thrilled to have me, either as a friend, boyfriend, whatever....and then just be done with me. It hurts, so bad. I want to know that that's not going to happen to me again. But I will never know. It's up to others around me to make that happen for me. I want to know that if I'm going to be in any sort of friendship or relationship with anyone, I don't want to get dumped on the side of the road. I don't want to be put back in that box, back in the corner. I'm so afraid of it happening to me again, I don't want to deal with that pain anymore. Lately it's been getting better, but the last thing I want is for that to happen again.
I have someone in mind right now. I really like you. I don't even know if you like me back. I just hope you don't do that to me.

If you want to have anything to do with me, be it a friendship, dating, doesn't matter...

....Promise me that you won't make me go through that again.
I want you to make that promise to me.

I Think It's Safe To Say

"I think it's safe to say: You're never coming back. And I understand why you wouldn't want to. I think it's up to me to find a way to get to you." -Relient K

But that's also exactly how I feel. I did find a way to get to you, and I pursued it. I was given a solution and I ran with it. But it wasn't enough.
So now it's time for me to move on. The fight between my heart and mind is just about at an end. I'm going to move on, there's more out there. All I can do now is yet again build off of my experiences and hope for the best. There's hope for every fallen man. This fallen man, me, has found that hope. But I can say this:

I think it's safe to say, "You're never coming back."

Thanks To You

I am just thankful for the people, friends, in my life that keep me going. I mean I have the friends that are just cool to talk to, but then theres my true friends. The ones that care about stuff I'm going through, good and bad in my life. They talk to me about it.
If I didn't have friends in my life, especially those true friends, I don't know where I'd be at in my life right now.
And those friends----you know who you are. If you've helped me out, like talking to me, just having a good time with me, you know who you are. Thank you.
I have a pretty life going for me right now.

--And it's Thanks To You

That's Not The Way It Works

I really hate the bad things that happen in life. I hate the results of bad things that happen. I wish I could ignore the problems life throws at me. And all the time, I wonder how I'd be now, or where I'd be at in mindset, if I had fought the problems that have happened to me instead of letting them get bigger. They really take their toll on me. Especially a recent problem that I'm super sorry for.

I went to assuming something that I shouldn't have. Because I was wrong about it. I didn't have all the facts. I said all these things, and then a few simple words said back made me realize the wrong I had done. How wrong I was. I didn't mean what I said. And I'm so sorry for it. I don't know if I'll be forgiven. I hope I am. I hope they will understand that it was said out of anger. Everybody does it at one point in their life. I hate dragging this on and on.

I'm not saying that I'm just sorry for it. My heart says I'm sorry.

I wish this could've all been avoided. I wish problems never occured in life.

But unfortunately, that's not the way it works.

Can't Hear, But That Doesn't Stop Him

Ok so I was at the Exton Mall tonight. I met manyyy new people and became friends with them. But one stood out imparticular. His name is Caleb.
Caleb is deaf. But it doesn't seem to slow him down at all. He hangs with the chill kids. He IS a chill kid. Hairspray in his hair, has snakebites, whatever---he's so cool. Yeah, it's different not being able to actually TALK to him, but I was totally ok with it. This dude is a freakin TEXTING MACHINE. That's how he converses with people alot. I mean there's facial expressions, and sign language as well.
He also has a great personality. He's into photography. From the amount that he actually legit hear, he likes rock music alot. He likes orange soda---Crush is NOT his favorite. He's a gymnast. He's into scary movies. He likes astronomy. He likes to chill at the mall alot.
And the awesome thing is, he has a ton of friends. If he has a problem with you, he'll tell you straight up. But he acts sooooo chill with his friends. Just hangs out. Dances and skips around. He's just an all around cool kid.
So he proved to me that being deaf doesn't mean your life has to suck. He seems perfectly fine with how he is. He has a ton of friends. He is one of my friends.
This one is to him. Caleb.