Lately, life's been different.
Last night, it was proven to me that if I keep trying to attain something, a friendship, it can happen. I did everything I could to make it happen, and I didn't think it was enough. But I was wrong. It all worked out in the end. So I'm really thankful for that, and I'm also very happy with it.
But then that aside, I'm afraid. The past month has been a challenge for me. I have this insecurity that I want gone. But it's going to take time to heal. I don't want somebody to be completely thrilled to have me, either as a friend, boyfriend, whatever....and then just be done with me. It hurts, so bad. I want to know that that's not going to happen to me again. But I will never know. It's up to others around me to make that happen for me. I want to know that if I'm going to be in any sort of friendship or relationship with anyone, I don't want to get dumped on the side of the road. I don't want to be put back in that box, back in the corner. I'm so afraid of it happening to me again, I don't want to deal with that pain anymore. Lately it's been getting better, but the last thing I want is for that to happen again.
I have someone in mind right now. I really like you. I don't even know if you like me back. I just hope you don't do that to me.
If you want to have anything to do with me, be it a friendship, dating, doesn't matter...
....Promise me that you won't make me go through that again.
I want you to make that promise to me.
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